


It´s a Sin

by Aether_Ghoul



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 12:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16854208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aether_Ghoul/pseuds/Aether_Ghoul
Summary: The Cardinals youth has not been glorious, nor a desaster. But he had to came a long way, to find the guidance of the morning star, a home and a clergy which brings out the best in him.. Accompany him on his journey to finally embrace both, himself and his sins.





	It´s a Sin

When he opened his eyes dozily, the first thing he saw was an old, scarred bedside table made out of heavy wood. His tired eyes roamed over his belongings, scattered all over its surface. Some books, stacked to a rickety pile with the holy bible quite on top of it and only covered by some loose sheets of homework. His gaze travelled down, to the pen he had forgotten to close yesterday evening, over an old flashlight, to a glass of lively tadpoles, floundering around in the murky water they called their home. He blinked and buried his pale face into the pillow, only to look at one of the little, faded roses printed on the fabric, until his attention was caught by the little, black creatures once again. He had fed them salad and tried not keeping too many of them. He wanted to give each of them enough space. He was humble to see that each one stayed alive until now. He somehow liked having them as company, even though they were slimy and, honestly, did not make the best pets ever. But he envied their limited capability of understanding what was happening around them. As long as they had food and water, they seemed to be satisfied.  
His eyes stayed glued to the pollywogs a little longer until he remembered the date. He must remember to bring them back to the little pond in the garden until noon, when his mom would arrive home. The boy pressed his slim lips together. Usually, it wouldn´t even cross his mind to bring any animal to the house, as his mom seemed to hate every living creature, which was not human. To be honest, she couldn´t even stand the most humans. A little grin appeared on his face, barely lifting the corners of his mouth, but still existent. He still loved his mother. Slowly, with a groan, he lifted himself off of the worn out mattress and rubbed his crusted eyes, until he let out a tiny sigh. Ignoring the hardness between his legs, he drowsily stared at the opposite wall. He didn´t want to get out of his bed but knew he had no real choice. When he stood up, the blanked almost seemed to grasp his waist, clinging to the cotton of his pyjama as if it was equally sad to release him out of his dreams but they had to let go eventually.  
He crossed the small, dim room and opened his cramped wardrobe, avoiding the mirror which was glued to the inside of the right door. Slowly, he started undressing himself, keeping his eyes fixed on the clothes on the hanger while trying to ignore the unpleasantness between his skinny legs. He knew it would disappear as soon as he had visited the toilet but out of habit, he didn´t want to come out of his room undressed. He put on a sweatpants and a comfortable, grey t-shirt. Both a little bit too big, but he liked the way it hugged his frame.  
Barefoot he opened the heavy door and hastily slipped into the bathroom, which was opposite of his room. He closed the door with a creak and a soft thud, stepped to the toilet and was relieved to feel how his discomfort vanished while using it. The rest of his routine was far more pleasing; he fairly enjoyed getting ready for the day. With a soft smile, he washed himself, brushed his teeth and hair. While doing so, he kept his eyes closed, trying to get a grip of the fragments of this nights dreams. He could remember he was guided by someone, a warm and large hand lying on his upper back. He wasn´t quite sure where they were going, but he remembered the feeling of awe he felt when they reached their destination. When he opened his eyes, he wished he could go back and explore this place. Maybe he had dreamt of Eden? Maybe the big man guiding him was God? He shook his head and snorted. Stupid thoughts, it was just a stupid dream, nothing more and nothing less. He re-entered his room and closed the wardrobedoor which he had forgotten earlier.  
Only then, he opened the window by leaning over the bedside table. He was greeted by a cloudy sky. `With a promise of Rain…`he thought to himself. At least, his little friends would be thrilled about the weather.  
He had spent the rest of the morning by cleaning the relatively small mess he had made, while his mother was spending the week with her relatives. And while he was busy making his bed, carrying some books back to his room and hovering the house, the weird dream slowly vanished from his memories.  
The boy almost finished washing the dishes, when he heard a car and soon after a key being turned in the old lock of the front door.

With a feeling of joy, he put down the white porcelain plate he was holding, dried his hands in a hurry and rushed to the door. “Hello, Mother!” he smiled and took the suitcase which she placed on the veranda while opening the door. “How was your trip?”  
His Mother eyed his rather messy appearance critically and he bit his lip. “It was fine. Your aunt asked when you will come and visit her again.” She answered and disappeared into the house, placing her other trunk next to the stairs which led to the first floor. He looked down and followed her cautious. She didn´t seem to be in a good mood. “I thought we could go out this evening, the new restaurant finally opened this week and I thought you uhm… would enjoy trying it out?” he stammered almost inaudible. He would have offered to prepare dinner, but he was bad at cooking, so this was the only thing he could think of which could probably lift his mothers mood.  
“Angelo! I have been back for only one minute and you already start asking things from me! Give me a break, I need to rest after such a long drive” she snapped at him and the dark haired boy ducked his head slightly.  
“It… was just an Idea, I´m sorry, I thought you would maybe enjoy it… I thought you would like to tell me about your trip….” He tried explaining his trail of thought to his mother, but she just sat down at the couch and looked at him in a displeased manner. “Just go upstairs and change into something which is not… As questionable as your clothes right now. You look like one of those hip hoppers.” She wrinkled her nose and without looking up another time, she took one of the books from the little coffee table, which was placed in front of the brocade sofa.

The young boy went upstairs, taking his mothers suitcase with him and setting it down in front of her door. Even though he knew how gruff his mother could be, he had hoped for her to show some more joy to see him again, after all he was her son and she loved him. But knowing his mother, he could have also hoped for confetti and pretty ladies jumping out of a cake. She was reserved and sometimes even a little bit cold. Nothing to worry about, this was normal.  
He went into his room and his eyes landed on the glass with pollywogs in it. He bit his lip when he realised, he had forgotten to take them outside again. Looking around in his room, he decided to hide them on the bottom of his closet, next to his sport shoes and an old backpack. While kneeling down, he caressed the cold glass with his soft fingers. How could somebody not want a pet? He desperately wished his mother would allow him a little friend to keep him company. A dog would be great, they could go on walks and he could teach him tricks and cuddle him in the evening while he was reading. But he would also settle for something smaller, a cat or some fish. Sometimes he visited the pet shop down the street and watched everything from lizards and the kittens. He wished he could just shove one down his hoody and take it home but this was impossible. With a sigh, the Boy finally got up on his feet again to change into a Jeans and a plain white shirt. With a short glance into the mirror, he checked if he could see any stains. His lips tightened upon watching his own lanky self standing in the small room like an impurity. The heavy, old furniture, the dusty air and the many books created a peaceful image he, as a human and person seemed to disturb in some way. But to be fair, he always looked out of place, no matter where he went. His mothers explanation was, that he just wasn´t confident enough and therefore always tried to make himself a little bit more smaller than he actually was. `Stand up tall and straight, and you will feel better.` she always said. But he really didn´t. He felt like people could see right through his stiff facade. And whenever someone laughed or whispered around him, he felt like people were talking about him. His lanky arms, his slim face and the deep set eyes. Rationally, he knew most people didn´t even took notice of him and those who did, didn´t spare him a second thought. Because of this, and the fact of him being an introverted person, he didn´t really made friends in the small town, even though he lived here all his live. Even though there were some people he admired or wanted to be friends with, he wasn´t particularly good at bonding or even talking with other people. When he was younger, his mother used to set him up to “playdates” with her friends sons to fix this but over the years even those relationships faded until they didn´t spend any time at all anymore. To be honest, he was fine like this. He enjoyed reading, studying and going to church to pray whenever he felt like it. 

One of the only persons he was truly fond of, was the pastor, who sadly did not really like him. The boy liked to imagine him as his father, giving advice and supporting him in his choices, his worries and his faith. But he had noticed the more he ran after the old man as a child, the more he got annoyed by all his questions and the almost constant company of the boy. So instead of pushing his patience, he limited himself to listening to the mass and trying his best to look like a confident young man anybody would be proud of.  
The other person he was genuinely interested in was a boy from his school. He was not very popular, but maintained a group of some close friends; Copia was more than jealous of, even though he would rather die than tell a single soul about it. The boy, Daniel, was quite a handful. He tended not to pay too much attention in class, aside from physics, sports and biology. Still, when it came to the teachers mind to ask him a question, he was quick to respond and mostly correct. The dark haired boy couldn´t help himself, but he desperately wanted to talk to him, wanted to find out why he could talk to everybody so effortlessly. He didn´t really strived for company, but he found himself being entranced by this guy. He felt like they could have great talks about god, faith and the world in general, as Daniel not only seemed to be a devoted christian, but also seemed to share huge parts of Copias interpretation of catholic believe. Having this in mind, he had managed to get hold of the place next to Daniel in biology and in math class. They were only parted by one girl, who was kinda nice, but also a huge nerd who hated any noise around her…  
He shook his head to pull it out of the cloud of thoughts which had formed around it and turned towards the door. He would spend the rest of the day with his mother, trying to coax some kind of conversation out of her and would try his best on Monday…

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is the first time I try and write something in another language than my mothertounge. Hope this is fine and you all enjoyed!


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